Three Songs by Three Sādhvīs
Ārtti Nivedana*
“Submission of Anguish”
paramārādhya deva!
Most worshipful lord!
koto dīrgha dina dhari, tava caraṇa darśana lāgi,
For how many long days, to have darśana of your feet
mane mane karechinu āśā
I have hoped in my heart of hearts
saba āśā nā purila, manoratha viphala haila,
All my hopes were not fulfilled, my wishes proven fruitless
āśābhaṅge duḥkhita e adhamā
This wretch is saddened at the dashing of her hopes
bujhiyāchi bhāla mate, vinā bhāgye nāhi mile,
I have understood well that without fortune one does not attain
śrī gurura caraṇa darśana
Darśana of śrī guru’s feet
mama manda-bhāgya lāgi, saṅgopane sadā kāñdi,
Owing to my poor fortune, I cry constantly in private
dhik dhik mora e’ jīvana
Fie, fie on this life of mine
āmi to’ adhama ati, tāye ati manda-mati,
I am extremely wretched, my intelligence extremely dull
kṛpā nā haila mama prati
Mercy has not come to me
prabhu! tumi to’ karuṇā-sindhu, adhama janāra bandhu,
Master! You are an ocean of compassion, friend of the wretched
upekṣile ki ha’be mora gati ??
If you neglect me, what will be my destiny??
yadi-o aparādhī āmi, tumi to’ ekamātra gati,
Even though I am an offender, you are my sole refuge
dayā karo, nā karaha vañcana
Have mercy, do not deceive
tumi vāñchā-kalpataru, mora icchā pūrṇa karu,
You are a wish-fulfilling tree; fulfill my wishes
diyā tava abhaya caraṇa
Giving me your fearless feet
—Śrīmatī Umā-rāṇī
Chunchura (Hooghly)
- The author has conveyed her anguish for not having had darśana of her śrī guru-pādapadma, parama-pūjyapāda parivrājakācārya tridaṇḍisvāmī Śrī Śrīmad Bhaktivedānta Vāmana Mahārāja.
Written on the occasion of Śrī Vyāsa-pūjā (1954)…
Dīnāra Hṛdayera Abhivyakti
“Heartfelt Expressions of a Fallen Soul”
gurudeva! dayā koro hena dīna jane
Gurudeva! Have mercy on this fallen person.
cañcala āmāra mana tomāra vihane
My mind is restless without you.
ākarṣaha duṣṭa mana karuṇāra bale
Attract my wicked mind by the strength of your grace
thāke jena mora mana caraṇera tale
So my mind may remain at your feet
āji vyāsa-pūjā dine e śubha tithite
Today on this auspicious day of Vyāsa-pūjā
boḍo sādha jāge tava caraṇa pūjite
A great aspiration wakens to worship your feet
āmi to adhama ati duramati bo’le
Because I am so fallen and wicked-minded
sākṣāte nā pūjā nile gele dūre ca’le
You have not accepted worship in person and have gone far away
tomāra caraṇe āmi jānāi minati
I convey petitions at your feet
śrī guru vaiṣṇave mora thāke jena mati
So that my consciousness may remain fixed on śrī guru and Vaiṣṇavas
āmi aśeṣa viśeṣa aparādhī ba’le
I am an offender in an endless variety of ways
dayāmaya! upekṣā nā koro avahele
O merciful one! Do not neglect me in disdain.
kṣamā kari’ jata saba aparādha mora
Please forgive all my offenses
dāo tava pada-sevā-adhikāra ghora
Give me the deep, intensive qualification needed to serve your feet
adhīnāra hṛde deha viśuddhā bhakati
Bless the heart of this dependant with immaculate devotion
jihvāya sphuraka mora tava guṇa-kīrtti
May the glories of your virtues manifest upon my tongue
jaya jaya gurudeva patita-pāvana
All glories, all glories Gurudeva, deliverer of the fallen
e adhama patitāke karaha tāraṇa
Please deliver this wretched, fallen person
aneka janama mora giyeche je keṭe
So many of my births have gone by, spent
ei-bāra śrī-caraṇa dāniyācho baṭe
This time you have gifted me your worshipful feet
kintu mora duṣṭa-mana nānā-dike dhāya
But my wicked mind runs in so many directions
vāyu-gati durnibāra—ki kari upāya
Tenacious as the wind—what am I to do?
kṛpā kari’ keśe dhari’ phirāo āmāre
Kindly catch me by the hair and bring me back
gaurahari sevāmagna rākhaho dināre
Keep this wretch absorbed in the service of Gaurahari
aparādhī boli more ghṛṇā nāhi koro
Do not despise me for being such an offender
rākho’ rākho’ śrī-caraṇe nāhi bhāva para
Just keep me, keep me at your feet. Do not think of me as a stranger.
svāmi-saṅge eka-sāthe bhajite tomāya
sadā āśā jāge mora ākula hiyāya
The hope to worship you together with my husband
forever awakens in my heart
tomāra karuṇa ha’le (āśā) avaśya puribe
If you are merciful, that hope will surely be fulfilled
gurudeva! tā̃’re kṛpā kabe je karibe
Gurudeva! Depending on when you bless him with your mercy…
dayāmaya! dayā koro ei dīna jane
O merciful one! Have mercy on this fallen person.
rahuka cañcala mana tomāra caraṇe
May my restless mind remain at your feet.
—dīnā sevikā “Gārgī”
(Rāya Saheb Śrī Munīndra-nātha Sādhu and Śrīmatī Sarayū Devī’s eldest daughter)
Caumāthā, Chunchura
Jaya Jaya Gurudeva Śrī Bhakti Prajñāna
Written by Śrīmatī Sarayu Sādhu (Umā Didi’s mother)
on the occasion of Paramagurudeva’s disappearance
jaya jaya gurudeva śrī bhakti-prajñāna
All glories, all glories Gurudeva, Śrī Bhakti Prajñāna
tava pada-yugale mama asaṅkhya praṇāma
I offer my countless obeisances unto your two feet
tumi to karuṇā-maya patita-pāvana
You are full of mercy, savior of the fallen.
mo sama pāpīre tārite, tava āgamana
You came to deliver sinners like me
durācāra boli more nā karile upekṣā
Do not ignore me because my conduct is so wicked
saṁsāra-sāgara haite karite rakṣā
Please protect me from the ocean of material existence
āmi nitya kṛṣṇadāsa—ihā giyā bhuli
I am an eternal servant of Kṛṣṇa—this I have gone and forgot
māyādāsa haiyā bhave cira-dina ghuri
Becoming a slave to māyā, I wander endlessly in this nescience
kṛpā kari ghucāo hṛdayera ā̃dhāra
Please remove the darkness of my heart
alīka mohera bandhana ghucāo āmāra
Dispel my bondage of bewildering illusion
āji tava ei aprakaṭa-tithi-vāsare
Today on this day of your disappearance
koto śata bhakta pūjichena bhakti-upacāre
How many hundreds of devotees have worshipped you with articles of devotion
āśā jāge hṛdaya mājhe kari tava vandana
A desire wakens in my heart to glorify you
kintu, kaluṣa bharā citte nāhi bhakti-sādhana
But my consciousness is full of filth and I have no devotional practice
tomā binā śunya-maya dekhi e’ bhuvana
Without you this world looks empty
virahānale sadā dagdha haiteche jīvana
My life is burning always in the fire of separation
bhakta jana bhakti netre tomāya kare daraśana
The devotees behold you with eyes of devotion
abhakta cakṣu-hīnera kabhu naheto darśana
The non-devotees, without the eyes to see, never have such vision
bārddhakera āgamane āyu-ravi haiteche kṣīṇa
As old age arrives, the sun of my lifespan is setting
tāhāte-i āmi to śuddhā-bhakti-rati-hīna
And still I am bereft of attachment to pure devotion
he prabho! ei āśīṣa koro e’ dīnā pāmare
O master! Please give this fallen wretch this blessing
labhi jena sevādhikāra janma janmāntare
So that I may obtain the qualification for service birth after birth
śrī-caraṇa-sevābhilāṣiṇī—
"Seeking to serve your feet"
(Śrīmatī) “Sarayū” (Sādhu)